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Category: Humor

Junkyard Gem: 1989 Ford Ranger Just Do It Edition

Let’s say you’ve got a beater yard truck at work and it’s sitting right next to several cans of red and white latex paint plus brushes, and you and your coworkers are bored. What do you do? I suspect that those were the conditions that let to the Nike-themed customization job on today’s Junkyard Gem, found in a self-service yard in Charlotte, North Carolina.

The light bar on the roof plus a couple of cheap UHF antennas indicate that this truck worked for its living, maybe at construction sites or a big industrial facility. 

The odometer is a five-digit unit, so we can’t know how many miles it traveled during its career. I’m guessing the final total was above 200,000.

The build tag say the original color for this truck was “Twilight Blue Metallic.” That was before it received a thick slathering of red house paint, applied with a brush.

Then white house paint was used to apply the Nike “Just Do It” theme. Nike began using “Just Do It” in 1988, after a writer at the company’s ad agency was inspired by the last words of about-to-be-executed murderer, Gary Gilmore.

Some real dedication went into this paint job.

The treatment extends into the interior.

The color-matched Car-Freshner Little Tree air fresheners are a nice touch.

Don’t forget the wheels!

The build tag says this truck was built at Louisville Assembly in November of 1988, and that it’s a short-wheelbase rear-wheel-drive Styleside.

It has the good old 2.3-liter “Pinto” four-cylinder engine, rated at 100 horsepower and 133 pound-feet.

The transmission is the base five-speed manual.

The first-generation Ranger replaced the Mazda-built Courier, with production beginning for the 1983 model year and continuing through 1992. The second-generation 1993 Ranger kept the original chassis but its body became less influenced by that of its F-Series big brother.

Another work truck heads to the crusher.

Canada’s best-selling compact truck!

Dogs were meant to lie in the sun and sleep.

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Junkyard Gem: 2005 Honda Accord, Hello Kitty Edition

When you’re a young city-dweller and your car is a generic 20-year-old sedan with the base engine, what do you do? You personalize it, of course, and that’s what the final owner of this Accord LX did. An unfortunate rear-end collision sent this car to a Denver car graveyard, giving us an illustrative snapshot of a place and time in popular automotive culture.

This car began life as one of the more than 350,000 Honda Accords sold in the United States for the 2005 model year. It’s a dime-a-dozen mid-level DX four-door with the base 2.4-liter four-cylinder engine delivering 160 horsepower.

It has air conditioning, a CD player with AUX input jack (a fairly rare feature in cars built before the late 2000s), an automatic transmission and a large helping of that legendary Accord reliability.

All in all, a very sensible car. But where’s the fun?

So, a shopping spree including pink spray paint, aftermarket accessories and many decals followed.

A not-so-fast but reasonably furious wing was bolted to the decklid.

When you’re a member of the Slow Car Club, you can be proud that your Accord doesn’t have the 255-horse V6 under its hood.

Inside, all the seats feature Hello Kitty seat covers.

Because genuine Hello Kitty wheels are very expensive, this car has regular 15-inch steelies painted pink.

Because all is not sweetness and cuddles in the Hello Kitty universe, there are spike lug nuts.

But did you die?

Break parts, not hearts.

One might apply this sentiment to the driver who crashed into this Accord and sent it to the junkyard.

It’s worth fixing a three-year-old Accord when this happens, but not so much with a 19-year-old Accord.

When you own a McMansion like this one, you require the low depreciation of the 2005 Accord LX.

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